i am not one to criticize anyone as i have my own huge list of faults, but some actions of some people really really get on my nerves. i don't understand the following categories of people:
1. the provincial people - those who are so set in their own thoughts and ideas (without any basis) and you can never ever convince them of anything besides what they think is true. the best example of this that i can think of is when people outside of america have this idea that america is "heaven on earth," that life there is really easy, that people have money falling out of their pockets, and so on. they refuse to believe anything else. these people often miss out on seeing a great number of blessings that they have that people living in america lack for example.
2. the assumption makers - very similar to the above category, this set of people assume things based on what is visible without taking anything else into consideration. this is almost always related to money in some way... for example, someone hears that you got a job, and they automatically assume that you are "making the big bucks now." or, someone walks into your apartment and sees almost no furniture there but sees a nice monitor or tv and says, "dang, you must be extremely rich." why do people make these assumptions? if you try to correct these people, they refuse to believe you, even though in most cases, the people who say these things would have several fold more than the person they told the comment to (in terms of both finances and time worked), and so on. reality of the matter is, what is apparent isn't necessarily what is true because people don't know the situations of each other. so why do people say these kinds of things?
3. the nosy people... people who want to ask about everything, especially financial things when they have no business in doing so... "how much do you get paid?" -- what business does anyone have asking that? or, "how much did you buy this or that or the other?" why do people ask these kinds of questions?
i could go on classifying these types of people, but i realized that there really is no need to, since they all share a common thread - a lack of content with their current situation and blessings. this leads many of them to not realize the great blessing they are in, and always try to look at ways in which others are better off than them financially.
i guess as imam siraj wahaj said about a year ago in a speech, that his mother used to always tell him, "people will just be people..." (it might have been, "people will always be people," can't remember anymore). so yeah... people will always be people...
Tags: rants
so i’m thinking you talked to your relatives recently.
Dude, if anybody gets on your skin, just ignore them, and when needed, just stop and tell them off firmly. Your nerves are too precious to burn on some idiot
anonymous - not exactly, but close enough
djihed - yeah… i think that’s the problem, if you are too nice to people, they don’t hesitate to take advantage of you… sometimes its just too difficult to tell someone off, but i guess if you don’t do it, people won’t hesitate…
the sad part is people don’t get the message… some guy, for example, asked me how much i paid for something… i said, “well it depends on the parts you put in it…” - so he asked again, “yeah so how much did you pay?” - so i was like, “i am not sure yet its not done and it all depends on the value of the parts so the price ranges” (aka *stop asking me i don’t want to tell you!*) - and rather than get the message, they ask again, “yeah but how much did YOU spend?” — at which point i had to answer.
i understand that with certain things, this is understandable - for example, if my friend wants to buy a car, and i just bought one, he may ask me how much i paid so he knows how much to expect to pay for it if he seriously want to buy one… but when its something that has nothing to do with me in anyway whatsoever, why should i ask? but people do anyway…
1. These people get their ideas from movies. And althought people may not have money falling out of their pockets, they do have a much greater opportunity for that to happen in America than abroad.
2. I don’t see a problem if someone says to another person your are making big bucks or you are very rich. Maybe because no one says it to me. Just say Alhamdulillah, I am doing alright.
3. People are generally curious. Salary can be a sensitive issue to some but others don’t mind asking and telling.
It seems like you are more sensitive than others regarding money issues, so perhaps you need to give others some leniency or a “handicap” if they make any such remarks because people will be people.
anonymous -
1. for many of us, there’s more opportunity here in america and i agree - however, its one thing to think there’s opportunity, and its another thing to think that people in america live in palaces and so on. people don’t really realize that whatever costs them x pounds back home costs us x dollars here, and if they’re making a salary of x pounds/month, then our salary is $x/month. maybe overall, the buying power of the dollar is more, but that doesn’t make us better and higher class than others - moreover, people often forget other blessings that they have that can’t be bought with money…
2. *shrugs* - sometimes its just irksome… its mainly that people want to assume things about you just based on a fact when it doesn’t necessarily mean anything.
3. yes - but the Prophet (SAW) said, “min 7osn iman el mar2 tarkuhu ma la yu3nee” - roughly translated that from the good (signs?) of belief of a person is that he leaves things that don’t concern him. sometimes, too much prying into people’s lives makes them uncomfortable and its not good - at the very least, people should understand and get the message sometimes, you know?
maybe i am more sensitive about it than others, but its my right to demand privacy in such aspects of my life. in any case, maybe as you said i need to be more lenient, or simply be more assertive at times.
usually people have a habit of saying to others “so yer making the big bucks eh?” I think of it as a normal command and just respond “i’m doin ok”
if you go to pakistan 80% of people will ask you your salary. and plus they want you to translate it into rupees per month for them. nosy.